A Confederacy Of Dunces

One of the funniest books ever written has got to be A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole. 

The title is a quote from Jonathan Swift: "When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." It would be approved by the unlikely protagonist Ignatius J. Reilly. The grossly overweight, ridiculous Reilly considers himself a misunderstood genius who is always about to burst forth onto the world to put it all right, if only all the small-minded fools would follow his bizarre instructions. 

"Psycho? The woman's senile. We had to stop at about thirty gas stations on the way over here. Finally I got tired of getting out of the car and showing her which was the Men's and which was the Women's, so I let her pick them herself. I worked out a system. The law of averages. I laid money on her and she came out about fifty-fifty."  — John Kennedy Toole (A Confederacy of Dunces)  

Relentless

Thank you. Tonight ladies and gentlemen, i shall eat a rubber tyre to the orchestral interlude 'The Flight of The Bumblebee'.

Chewie

Spinda Caveel: Who was that big furball that ruined my coat?
Zan Pike: You don't get out much, do you? That's Chewbacca, the most famous Wookiee in the Galaxy.

Tenacious

Lady Astor: Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. 

Winston Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.

Bessie Braddock: Winston, you are drunk, and what's more, you are disgustingly drunk.

Winston Churchill: Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what's more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. 

Winston Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?

Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course...

Winston Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds?

Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!

Winston Churchill: Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.