I just lost an hour's worth of work because of an intentionally-engineered electrical power outage.
We NEED to:
A – Use less energy.
or
or
B – Find new energy sources
Okay, those of you who chose A are stupid hippies who don’t realize that Thomas Edison was the greatest inventor ever invented.
We need to update how power flows, build more power plants, and find new ways to produce energy.
New Energy Sources:
- Giant Hamster Wheels - Put a bunch of dudes in and dangle one of those shiny new L.E.D tele's in front of them. We'll run like there's no tomorrow. We love fancy gadgets. Plus we need the exercise. Bonus: our drool can be recycled into clean drinking water.
- Wind Mills - You’ve heard about this. But we can’t rely on nature alone. Feed my dog bbq baked beans. He can power Islamabad for a year.
- Solar Power - It hasn’t worked in the past, but that’s only because I wasn’t on the case. Take the light from the sun, use a giant mirror the size of Baluchistan, point it at Iran and shine the s**t outta their eyes! While they’re blinded, we take their oil.
- Power The Country On Smiles - Asif Ali Zardari's dollar smile is what i'm talking about; 100% organic & homegrown - neo-bling. Pack it away once you've powered Punjab and Sindh and bounced some light off of Nawaz's head into Baluchisan & parts of NWFP (comes with an air-tight, all-natural, zip-lock cover).
Top Ways to Prevent Blackouts:
- Uninstall Microsoft Windows as the power grid’s operating system.
- Senate passes a reverse-curfew law whereas all children must stop playing video games and GET OUT of their homes and be on the streets causing trouble like they’re supposed to.
- Limit the electricity used to power Sheikh Rashid's late night extravaganzas.
- Old people – it’s enough already with the life support.
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